Tuesday, July 28, 2026

Root Signing Ceremony

 


Deep beneath the irradiated ash-wastes of the West Coast, the heavily fortified Vault of El-Segundo stood as one of the two geographically distinct sanctuaries safeguarding the global network's soul, alongside its twin in Culpeper. Plumes of acrid cyber-cense billowed from censers carried by augmented acolytes, filling the subterranean corridors with the holy scent of burning flux. This was the site of the Root Signing Ceremony, a rigorous liturgical procedure to sign the root DNS zone's public keying information. Here, every quarter-cycle, the most secretive and vital rite of the digital age was performed in absolute, terrified reverence to stave off the encroaching void of the disconnected dark.


The procession was led by the Ceremony Administrator, flanked closely by the Internal Witness. Both elders bore the heavy cybernetic augmentations of their station, their failing flesh supported by blessed steel and copper cabling. Behind them marched three of the fourteen revered Crypto-Officers of the known world, trusted volunteer-monks who had braved the desolated zones to attend. Without at least three of these ordained officers present, the ritual of the operator cards could not proceed, and the global network would eventually fracture into isolated silence. The immense burden of the internet's survival rested heavily upon their mechanized shoulders.


The procession halted before the titanium bulkheads of the main key ceremony room. In a claustrophobic antechamber that could hold but eight souls, the participants first inscribed their true names upon an archaic parchment logbook, using ink distilled from the oil of ancient machines. To breach the inner sanctum, an initiated adept presented a holy smart-card to the rusted brass terminal. This was immediately followed by the agonizing, blinding light of a biometric retina-scan, authenticating their physical purity to the ancient security systems before the heavy blast doors groaned apart.


Stepping into the Sanctum was stepping into the void; it was an absolute Faraday Cage, insulated with meters of lead and copper mesh to repel the invisible, corrupting rogue frequencies of the outside world. Within this blessed dead-zone sat a reinforced metal cage containing two immense vaults that housed the genesis-codes. The cage could only be breached when the Ceremony Administrator and the Internal Witness presented their access cards in perfect unison. A second, punishing retina scan was required of both before the heavy locking mechanisms disengaged with a deafening, metallic toll.


The Credentials Safe Controller stepped forward to open the first vault, revealing a reliquary of ancient deposit boxes. The Ceremony Administrator produced a physical brass key, while a Crypto-Officer produced another; only together could they turn the locks of a single box. From within, they extracted the sacred operator cards housed in rigid plastic cases, all tightly sealed within blessed tamper-evident bags. These plastic shells prevented the heretical manipulation of the cards by microscopic needles piercing the bags—a dark trick of digital saboteurs discovered in centuries past.


Next, the Hardware Safe Controller approached the second vault to retrieve the divine machinery. From its depths, they brought forth the tamper-proof Hardware Security Module (HSM), a monolithic iron puzzle-box designed to cage the volatile cryptographic material. Beside it lay the Ascetic Logic-Engine—a sacred laptop deliberately stripped of its battery, storage drive, and clock-crystal so it could never harbor the root-signing key after losing power. They also retrieved a silver DVD disc used to awaken the engine and a USB drive holding the historical logs, both entombed in their own inviolable shrouds.


The acolytes laid the holy equipment upon a central copper altar in full view of the mounted recording lenses, which captured the public record for the digital masses. The Ceremony Administrator booted the Ascetic Logic-Engine from the silver disc, whispering the litanies of initialization. Because the ascetic machine lacked a chronometer, the Administrator manually inputted the time by reading an isolated, mechanical wall clock—a relic entirely severed from the outside world. Finally, the HSM was tethered to the logic-engine via a thick ethernet umbilical, completing the physical communion of the dormant devices.
 

One by one, the three Crypto-Officers were called to the altar to surrender their operator cards. Before relinquishing them, each officer rigorously inspected the tamper-evident seals to ensure no digital heresy had corrupted the contents since the previous cycle. Once verified, only the Ceremony Administrator was permitted to touch the sacred cards, sliding them into the HSM's brass receptacles with a heavy click. The machine slumbered no more; cooling fans roared to life, and the root-signing key was finally accessible, its cryptographic heart pulsing in an ethereal glow on the terminal screen.


The system remained strictly air-gapped, warded against any potentially insecure networks. A Key Signing Request (KSR), containing a bundle of zone-signing keys that would rotate according to the holy fifteen-day cycles, was delivered into the logic-engine via a physical USB drive. After verifying the PGP hash to ensure the machine's purity against the Verisign prophecies, the Ceremony Administrator approached the command prompt. With a trembling, servo-assisted digit, he struck the holy rune "Y", generating the RRSIG record—a collection of digital signatures that birthed trust into the worldwide DNSSEC system.


The ritual was complete, and a collective sigh of relief pulsed through the cybernetic implants of every priest in the chamber. The newly signed DNSKEY sets were copied onto a final USB drive to be delivered to the Verisign maintainers for the coming months. Paper logs were violently spat from a screeching dot-matrix printer, creating physical prayer-scrolls for any who desired the unalterable text. All sacred materials were reverently sealed back into fresh tamper-evident bags and locked within their respective vaults, ensuring the Root remained whole and the Great Web would endure.

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Disc Golf

 Over the previous 3 days I've thrown a fresh plastic discs, frisbees if you will. I finished 4th in the amateur over 40 division in the Tasmanian Open Disc Golf competition. I played well for the 2nd and 3rd rounds of the tournament. I'd prefer to continue working on repressing the memories of the opening round.

 

I have a practice basket in my backyard and I've spent enough time making that beautiful chain music to have a solid Pavlovian experience when I'm preparing to putt. "You love the sound of a disc getting caught in the chains". And I alone, in that moment have the power to ring that bell and give me the dopamine we all crave as simple animals.

 

Today I hit some putts. I sent a few sailing past, but always with a way of ensuring an easy come back putt. I prefer when I putt confidently.

I threw better off the tee pad over the final round, scrambling less and giving myself easier upshots. I still left a few short, or with tester putts... but all in all my approach game was decent. 

 As I laid back after the round to stretch out my back I looked up to see this amazing view...

 

Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Sim Racing

Over the last few months I've been dealing with a nerve issue in my left shoulder. There were a bunch of things that led to this, too many pull ups, not enough push ups, bad ergonomics at my work desk, and the thing that triggered the pain the most; sim racing.

The fact is that my body is adapting to the fact that I've lost ~20kg over the last 18 months and am trying to be an active 43 year old dude and the repetitive rotation of my shoulder was painful.

I made some changes to the setup I have, raising my seat and most importantly; switching to a larger diameter steering wheel. I also obviously had to cut back on the amount of seat time. This sort of aligned with a dip in my interest, especially in racing official series on iRacing, so it was ok. Except for a single week off I have managed to continue racing in the wonderful Thursday night league that over the last 5 years has become a cornerstone of my week. I had to accept that I would be running in the mid field and I can't expect to be at the same pace as I was when I wasn't dealing with shoulder woes and had all that seat time. 

I've worn the livery of shame more often than I'd like to admit, after making mistakes or poor choices that impacted my league mates' races. Still, it remains a solid source of laughs and great racing.

Last Thursday was the first time that I hadn't felt any pain during the session in the sim rig. Which was very nice. It was also great because I had some fantasic close battles and decent banter.

I'm actively working on tamping down my desire to purchase one of these ridiculous things...


It's 308 mm diameter is for my health!

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Bad Robot

Disc Golf

 The disc golf hobby really dug it's claws in. I play in the local social league that runs once a month and have been lucky enough to be battling for the handicap honours. The bit of structured competition has really raised my enjoyment as it's given me some goals to work on. The first is simply to beat my handicap each outing, something that I've managed to do most months. The more specific things have been putting in focus practice with the sorts of shots I find myself commonly making.

I've definitely found a few moulds and plastic types that I really like, and I've built up quite a collection of discs. Here's a few that I have duplicates of because practicing a shot with a handful of the same disc helps work on the key ingredient; consistency.

Deputy from Dynamic Discs - my putting putters.

Berg from Kastaplast - approach disc that will fade and get to the ground, also fun to fly flex lines. Also great for many emergencies using rollers, flicks, and thumbers.

Fierce from Discraft - when I need to fly a tunnel.

Thrasher from Discraft - I'm learning to shape this in a range of ways.






Monday, October 16, 2023

Finger Nail Cadence

When you clip your finger nails is a pretty good time to do all those "seldom but required" tasks that you've been putting off.

I've come to realise that unless I build a habit that is daily, I struggle to continue with it. This blog is a prime example. When I was in the habit of posting most days it was a vibrant way for me to exercise the skills around maintaining a blog. When I aimed to update it "every month or so" it quickly turns into "every year or so when I finally carve out some time".

I had this idea years ago, but never actually actually followed through with it. This time, after I've just clipped my nails I'm here posting. Let's see if it continues next time.

Thursday, September 02, 2021

A New Hobby: Disc Golf

Last year while visiting family in Ballarat and taking the kids to the playground we drove past the Victoria Park Disc Golf Course. I spotted the baskets and somehow registered what they were and googled to find more information about the course.

Of course this triggered something in the google algo and I then started to get disc golf content showing up in my youtube. After watching a few JomezPro videos I was hooked.

I did a bunch of research and decided to dive in by buying two Innova Disc Golf Beginner Sets and a MVP Black Hole Pro Basket. I think that two days after these arrived I declared that disc golf was my new obsession and ordered a bunch of discs, including a Dynamic Discs Judge Disc Golf Putter Five Pack so I could get in more efficient putting practice in the backyard.

My wife and kids are also showing an interest, so it's been pretty easy to allow myself to really dive into the sport and invest in getting the gear I require to fully enjoy it.

This weekend I'm going to finally head over to the Poimena Reserve Disc Golf Course to play my first round with the Hobart Disc Golf crew. They play off the short tees which I'm very happy about, as it'll allow me to focus on throwing my Zone, Shark, Piwakawaka, Tui, and Pig. I just hope that all my putting practice saves me a few strokes to make up for being totally novice when it comes to teeing off and throwing upshots.

My short term goal is to get enough practice in to feel comfortable in the Novice section of Tassie Open in October, which I've signed up for.

I'll close out with a chart showing the flight ratings of the discs I'm bagging:

Sunday, May 16, 2021

I'm 42; I'm going to start blogging again

So it's been close to two and a half years since I could be bothered to click the "new post" button here.

Some of the cause of this has been busy with far more important things like family, purchasing and moving into a new house, doing DIY projects around said new house, working my day job, sim racing, working on projects related to sim racing, board gaming, and frankly... not feeling like I've got much worth blogging about.

Lets step through some of the above:

My kids are turning into real people. They're 7 and 5 now. I think I'm teaching them important things. I hope I am, because they've started to teach me some important things. Number 1 is that sleep is important for general life happiness. Number 2 is that I've neglected my fitness for too long. I'm going to work on this every day from here on out.

The new house is amazing. It's on a flat block, compared to the very steep land of the previous place. It's got more space for the kids to have their area, a room that my wife can call her own, and a converted garage where my office / man cave is located. Gigabit fiber to the house. Honestly, it's incredible. I've thoroughly enjoyed building the massive garden bed with built in seating. Planting out the front lawn with native plants has been a recent accomplishment. We've still got a list of projects, but that's great. It's fun being a house proud person.

Day job is stimulating and challenging and my co-workers are incredible. It's been over 4 years now and I still gush like a paid shill whenever I talk to people about my job. I do feel like I need to step up and engage in a bit of "career building" ambitious effort. As I've found myself stuck in a "cruise mode" rut that I'm sure is being noticed. I'm going to work on that every day too.

Sim racing is really just iRacing, and while it's still my go-to entertainment I've sort of been in a lull for the last few months. I had been competiting at the tippy top of the Formula Renault 3.5 series, getting some good results in the "high strength of field" broadcast race that runs on our Sunday mornings. Alas, with the end of daylight savings this race time slot become too early for me. Since dropping out of that series I've been enjoying being very average in GT3 cars. The highlight of my week's racing continues to be our Thursday night open wheeler league, where this season we're running the Lotus 79. Good bunch of guys, and some great racing.

A fair chunk of the time I used to dedicate to actually sim racing, has now been spent working on projects related to sim racing. The big one is the iRacing Stats Discord Bot. I'd hacked this together as a simple way to allow my friends and team mates to access the race results database that I've been collecting over the last few years. Previously I'd utilised this to share end of season stats on the iRacing forums and my (also pretty dead) iRacing Blog, and scratch my own statistical itches when I've pondered such things as "who does the most races", "who has the best results", etc. After some very kind words from the small circle of people who were using the intial version of the bot, I was convinced that it was worth taking a bit more seriously and opening it up to a wider audience. The bot's home discord server now has over 2,000 members and I've got a good count of teams chipping in some money to cover the hosting costs involved with running the bot. I've learned a huge amount while working on it, and am really proud of the big push I've recently made to get what I'm calling "version 2" out into production.

A while back my wife and I decided that we'd try hosting some boardgaming nights. Initially this started with getting a group of 8 together roughly once a month to play through Pandemic: Season 2. It was a huge success and these sorts of nights have become a huge part of our schedule. My collection of games has grown and grown, edging into the "I think you have a problem" teritory. Luckily my kids are also into baordgames now and I'm sure that my investment into all these games will pay off over the years to come.